


Incomplete

by GenesisKiba



Category: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2015-11-16
Packaged: 2018-05-01 22:22:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5223170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GenesisKiba/pseuds/GenesisKiba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clouds reminiscing on the love he lost.  This is my thoughts on what happens between the ending of the game and AC.  Set to BSB "Incopmplete"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Incomplete

DISCLAIMER: I do not own FFVII nor the song "Incomplete" by BSB

Please tell me what you thought.  This was an old songfic I wrote and reworked.

* * *

 

The once blue sky grows dim as night begins to cloak the world in a coverlet of darkness.  The water glows eerily from the moon's illumination, from the heavens above, shines brightly like a golden dream in a pool of nightmares. The day is coming to an end and the night is just beginning to emerge and take hold of the world. It maintains many hidden secrets in its dark depths lit only by the moon and stars. One sad secret still lingers deep in the clear water, rippling though as if calm waves of tears.  A secret so heartbreaking it still holds one sad individual, in a sorrowful embrace of a haunting reminiscence.

 

One lone person still stands closely by the ever-darkening water's edge. He does not move. He only stands and gazes out to the shadowing water with emptiness echoing in his bones.  There is sadness apparent in his once strong willed blue eyes. He tries to hide it, but he cannot. The darkness and the water know what he has buried deep in his heart.  One cannot hide something so sad from the shadows in the darkness. The darkness is sadness itself.  It fills your holes, reads your mind.  It is all knowing to the feelings that bring about melancholy and loss.

****

****_Empty spaces fill me up with holes_  
  


A single tear cascades from the young man's distraught eyes as he looks out towards the water mesmerized. Both eyes and water... blue.  Blue inside and out. Both holding sadness and despair, yet both appear calm on the outside.  Rushing like rivers to a waterfall they are inside. He had lost something or someone so very precious to him. His heart was theirs even though he never voiced it. He now wishes that he had before this all came to be. If he had he might have been able to save them. Save them from a fate so tragic, a fate that they did not warrant. 

 

He feels blame... it rushes through his veins as fast as a safari stampede. He feels empty, oh so empty.  Bareness is like a void that has opened up in his heart. It engulfs him mind and soul.  Only holes remain deep within.  Holes of emptiness take over where there once was hope, joy, happiness, and…above all love.  Will love ever come again?  Will he ever feel Bliss and Happiness and have hope once more?

****

****_Distant faces with no place left to go_  
  


The wind begins to blow majestically through his blonde locks. It whispers to him. Telling him everything will be all right. He does not listen.  He chooses not to listen to its beckoning call.  There is only ever one thing present on his mind.  All he can think about is… her.  The love he lost. The love he never got to tell how he truly felt.  Oh, how he wishes that he was able to tell her.  Things would be much better if he did.

 

He raises his head looking up to the dark sky. Through his blonde hair he can see only one star glistening from within the darkness. It was like her light shining down upon him once more, for she was the light of his life. He smiles weakly as he remembers all the times they shared together. Some were bad and some were lovely. It is how life goes though you have your ups and your downs. It’s what helps you to grow stronger in both body and mind.

 

Images of her face flash before him. How he wishes he could see her again. To see her smile, laugh, and carry on without a care in the world. He has no place to go. His heart is with her forever down in the depths of the blue water.  It was slowly fading to the bottom floor to fade away forever as it blended like two colours swirling together.  If he could he would join her, but he could not.

****

**_Without you within me I can't find no rest_ ** ****__  
  


More tears descend from his distraught azure eyes. It seems as though no matter how much he has tried he can't hold them at bay. He thanks the heavens for letting him be alone.  His only companion is the watery grave.  The lake in the Ancient Forest holds the resting place for his beloved angel.  He didn’t want to think it but she was now one with the lifestream.  She had gone back to where she once came.

 

He places his long broad sword in the light tan sand. His body begins to shake both from the coldness and the loneliness deep within his soul. He falls to his knees grasping his friend’s and now his faithful sword.  This sword is the only support he has from completely falling to the ground. He feels as though he cannot go one without her there by his side. She had brought so many new feelings to him.  So many feeling he didn’t know he was capable of having once more. 

 

He does not know what to do. He should have listened to that foreboding feeling he had.  He has never felt like this before let alone for another being.  His heart aches with the love he harbors for her.  He lowers his head as the tears begin to fall in rivers down his cold cheeks. He cannot hold them back anymore.  They have forced their way to the edge of a waterfall.  He will never be able to find any rest not with her gone from his life.  She will never be able to return.  She is gone forever lost in the waves and ripples of the lifestream mingling with all it’s life.

****

**_Where I'm going is anybody's guess_ ** ****__  
  


Hours pass on by like the Highwind zooming through the sky.  And yet he still kneels by the water's edge never moving –still as a statue. The tears have long stopped flowing from his eyes, for he cannot cry anymore. Like the desert rain his tears are all dried, gone with the season.  Only silent tears wrack through his body chilled from the cold of the air and of his despair.

 

Still looking down to the ground he thinks back on all his memories, so much he as been through.  So many adventures he has gone on.  He has felt the loss of a loved one once before.  Why did this loss hurt him so much more?  It didn’t hurt this much when he lost his best friend.  He missed him dearly, but without her he was… nothing.

 

The sun begins to rise in the East warming up the water giving it a yellow orange glow as it glistens from the sun’s radiant rays. He looks up to the sun shining down upon him, warming him cold bones. He has been here all night?  The hours have seemed to go by so quickly.  It felt as if he was here for only but a mere second.

 

A weak smile appears upon his lips. How he wished he could have shared this moment with her. Watching the sunset was magical and beautiful… like her. 

 

Using his sword for support he slowly rises from the sand. As the sun finishes setting light to the world with its warm rays he walks over the edge of the water. There he pulls out a single white rose so pure and innocent, just like her. It's a symbol of the one he lost and his love for her. She was untainted by the evils of the world. How someone like her have could even existed? She was so pure and innocent, full of love and life for all –human, creature, and plant… all.

 

He throws the single rose out into the water. The rose causes a rippling in the calm water, changing it from calm to life. It is time he moved on. He has no idea where he will go. No one else knows either. He will let his feet guide him.  They will show him the place that he needs to be.  He will let her spirit guide him.

****

****_I tried to go on like I never knew you_  
  


A few months have past since he had left. Nothing had seemed to change. Of course people moved on and learned more, but he never seemed to progress. No matter how much he tried he could not advance on through life. He could never erase her from his heart. She would forever be imbedded within this mind, heart, and soul. In a way she was the keeper of his life.  When she left she took everything he had with her.

 

He still thought about her every day and night. Every hour, minute, and second of his days where of memories of her. He never did return to her watery grave for fear prohibited him. He could not bring himself to do it, it was like and omen. It would only confirm that she would never be coming back to be with him. He could not live with knowing she was gone forever from his life. He still wanted to hang on to that one last bit of hope, even though it was diminishing everyday.  Maybe somewhere she was still there?

****

****_I'm awake but my world is half asleep_  
  


The streets are quiet where he lives. No sounds echo in the distance, all is calm like the rolling tide of the universe. It is peaceful yet loud, oh so very loud. Nothing seems to be as it appears -all is an illusion and yet reality in the same. He sees everything with eyes wide-open. Nothing appears to feel real to him though. It all feels like something is… missing something that cannot be found. There is a void where it should be.

 

He searches endlessly for it with open eyes. Through every corner and deep dark crevice he searches.  He looks high and low –all around.  All he can find though are emotions locked tight away with no key insight.  Everything seems to be asleep with dreams and wishes swirling around in a never-ending circle of solitude.

 

How can everyone be so happy when his sad and… alone? He doesn't let them know, he can’t let them know the sadness and loss that is buried deep within his heart. He won't let them. He hides it all to well. Or maybe it is because they are locked in their own little dream worlds that they do not see what lies behind his sad blue eyes.

****

****_I pray for this heart to be unbroken_  
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete **  
**  


In his cold room at night he prays. He prays for his love. He hopes that she is happy wherever she may be. Maybe she made it to the Promised Land that she so longed for and isn’t floating helplessly in the waves of the lifestream. He prays for the health and happiness of those all around him bustling about without a care in the world. There is only one thing he prays for that is for himself and himself alone.

 

He prays that he could be with her once more -forever. Holding her in his arms and saying the things he never got to say. He does not want his heart to ache anymore. It's slowly killing him, tearing him up from inside out. He will always have that void within his heart, nothing can fill it but… her. He will never be with her. Not until the day he too leaves this world far behind. Till then he will be a piece to a whole scattered across the desert. He will never be complete till he finds her. Till he is able to see her smiling faces once more. How he longs to just see her once more.

****

**_Voices tell me I should carry on_  
** But I am swimming in an ocean all alone  
  


Every night when he closes his eyes and falls into the world of candy canes and gumdrops he hears their voices. They all tell him the same thing over and over, repeated like a broken record caught on an endless loop of repeat. He does not want to accept it though. He could never forget her. He does not see how he can and has move on. He had seen how she died –right before his very eyes. She died with a beautiful smile decorating her picturesque face. How can someone be so happy when they die? She was though right to very last breath she would ever take.

 

The tears flow from his eyes every night. He is the only one that sees them. He will not let others in anymore. He keeps all at bay –far from his sight and theirs.  He had seen what could happen when they entered your life. You will lose them all at some point.  It was better to not have them to chance the sight and pain of losing another. He cannot live with that, not again… Not after losing his love.

 

The tears flow from his eyes like the rain into the ocean filling it to the brim.

 

He drifts away to a world where she is still there. A world of hopes, love, dreams, and happiness is where he goes to meet her. He is lost swimming though his emotions like an abandoned puppy trying to find his way home. Trying to sort out what is reality from what is fantasy. He is all alone left with only himself, his memories, and dreams.

 

**_Baby, my baby_  
** It's written on your face  
  


It had been another night of crying for the fair-haired man. Who would have thought he would be one to cry himself to sleep. Ione could be sure that his childhood friend would never have pictured it. He always seemed so strong.  Even after going away for a long period of time. Even when he joined SOLDIER he appeared very strong physically and mentally. While in SOILDER he became a changed man. He was no longer the man that she loved and cared for, he didn’t show emotions anymore like he once had.

 

That was until ‘she’ came into the picture. Her with her flowers for sale on the street side in all her beauty grace and elegance. Her deep piercing green eyes shone out amongst all others. Her chocolate hair flowed beautifully in the wind. She was the perfect form of an angel. She was so pure and innocent. Never been tainted or touched by the darkness.

 

How could she fall for someone like him? She did though it was written in her eyes. Just like her it was and is written on his face. All can tell that he was so deeply in love. Even if the emotion that came through was small. He could never admit it. It would take away from his pride and strength. His eyes could not hide anything though. They told the world everything. They are the doorways to his soul and the soul never lies. It can't. It is the very essence of who you are as a whole.

****

**_You still wonder if we made a big mistake_ ** ****__  
  


He thinks about that one night every night before he goes to bed. Every moment he has alone he thinks about it. Was it really worth it to share something like that? It was his first time but he could tell it was not hers. She did talk about someone named Zach. Could he have been the same Zach that he knew?  She had to have dated him once for the way she talked.

 

He could not refuse her offer when she came into his room that night. He was in love with her despite the fact that he would never admit it. She came in with confidence and yet a little fear. Fear of rejection perhaps was what danced within her aura. He had agreed to go on a date with her when she asked. It was the best time of his life. Especially that time he got to kiss her. It was not under the best of circumstances though. Nonetheless he got to feel her soft lips upon his own, it was magical.

 

When he thinks about that night he wonders. Did he make a mistake? Should have opened up and let her in his heart? He really does not know. It brought such great happiness to him when she was there by his side, but then that was all taken away in a mere instant. Maybe it really was a mistake.  He will never know.

****

****_I've tried to go on like I never knew you_  
  


Now a year later he still tries so hard to forget about his angel. He cannot do it no matter how hard he tries. He wants to forget about the pain that wrecks through his body. It only hurts so much more when he doesn't think back on the times he had with her.   It was a lose-lose situation for him. There was pain when he thought about her, there was pain when he forced himself to try and forget.

 

Still he has yet to return to her resting place. He cannot bring himself to do it. It is too painful to bear. He has accepted that she will not be coming back. He knows that she will always be with him nonetheless. Her spirit resides inside him. He still feels alone. But slowly his hearts begins to mend, the pieces of a puzzle being placed in place once by one.  He will not be fully restored till he sees her once more.

 

Time has changed along with the tides. He has grown older and more mature. Still no one is allowed in his heart. It belongs to her and only her.  He will forever be hers.  With her she took the key to his heart and soul.

****

****_I'm awake but my world is half asleep_  
  


He moves through the quiet streets like a shadow casted on the ground. Everyone carries one without a care in the world, smiles dancing happily on their faces. No one notices him as he walks on by. He is only a shadow to them, a translucent object on the side. Something that is untouchable. He does not mind. It gives him time to think and observe.

 

He watches them wishing he could have what they all have. To be in a world of dreams come true so much like them. He watches them in their dream world. Their eyes are half dreary yet half awake. How can they live like that? She did though. She was never worried about what was really going on. She was always joking and at times of trouble too a smile and a laugh was with her. He loved that about her. How she was so carefree mingling like the wind.  A smile graces his face at her memory.

****

****_I pray for this heart to be unbroken_  
  


Even though on the outside it materializes that he is no longer hurting. Even on the inside it emerges to be the same. His heart is still broken. It will forever be. He still prays for it to mend and become whole once more. His prayers are never answered. He wonders if he did something wrong, maybe.

It was killing… ‘him’. Who knows? He deserved to die despite the fact that. He caused so much hurt, heartache, and pain. Not only for himself but those around him and others in this world. He had to die there was no other choice. It was either him or the rest of the world. Wouldn't you rather kill one person to save a million? He did what he thought was best. He saved the world yet lost something so dear. And it kills him everyday and night.

****

****_But without you all I'm going ever be is incomplete_  
  


The black void within his heart is still there. It grows everyday. The more he thinks the more he dreams the larger it gets. He is slowly shattering. It may not appear to be so, on the outside but he is slowly giving up. He will never be whole. His other half was taken so cruelly from him. Right before his eyes even. And he couldn't do anything.

 

Something was stopping him, holding him back. He longs for her. He will not voice it... it hurts too much. Yet it hurts more, the more he keeps it inside. The years of holding in his secret weaken him. It causes the emptiness to grow and fill with more holes. He needs to see her again, but he will not.  He cannot go there is too much anguish.

****

**_I don't mean to drag it on, but I can't seem to let you go_ ** ****__  
  


In his room he paces back and forth. He thinks. In his hands he holds a picture. It is a picture of the one he loves, the one that holds his heart and other half. The tears fall from his eyes like waterfalls. One single tears lands on the picture. It slowly runs across the frame creating a path of its travels behind it.  It’s path causes her face to blur.

 

Why? The question repeats itself over and over again in his head. Why did he not stop him sooner? Why did he let her die? Why did he let himself fall in love? Why does he drag this on? Why? Why? Why? He drops to his knees holding his head. The tears flow even more. He cannot take it any more. Everything is starting to sink in after such a long time. He can't stand it.  his body his shaking like a raging storm.

****

****_I don't wanna make you face this world alone_  
  


Waves of tears flow from the flaxen haired man's eyes. His heart is finally realizing the truth. She will never be coming back to him. She is no longer part of this world. Has she crossed over to the other side? Has she made it to her long awaited home? He doesn't understand why he let her go. Let her go alone to face what lay ahead. He didn't want to make her face that alone. He wanted to go with her, or her not go at all. There was not stopping it though. She did save others with the cost of her life. That is something he will always remember. She put others before herself. It was just how she was. It may not have looked like that but that's how it was.

 

He holds her picture close to him clutched to his chest. He is glad and sad at the same time. Glad that no one is here to witness him breaking down. He is sad that she is not with him in his arms.  Oh, how he wished she was there at that moment.

****

**_I wanna let you go (alone)_ ** ****__  
  


The tears have now dried like the Corel Desert. Only evidence of where they were remains. He so badly wants to let her go. He is only holding her back. Holding her back from what awaits her. He doesn't want to stop her. But the more he holds her in his heart the more her pain grows. She cannot get to the Promise Land. He is holding her back.

 

He wishes for a way to help her move on. A way to help himself move on without her there by his side he wishes. He will never forget her he cannot forget her. For he loved her with all his heart and soul he is unable to forget. Love is not something that can be broken so easily. He just needs to let go of her spirit not is love for her.

****

****_I've tried to go on like I never knew you_  
  


Two long years have gone by now. He still has tried to go on like he never knew her. It has not worked no matter how hard he has tried. He still thinks about her. He has moved on… some. He has decided that it is now time that he returned. Returned to her watery grave and resting place he must. The water in which she now rests he must return to, the Ancient Forest.

 

He packs what little things he has. He will set out to return. He needs to do this. It has been far too long. Two years he has spent away not visiting even once. Two years he has mourned alone. Two years have caused the emptiness to grow. So he needs to see her one more time to tell her… goodbye. It will be hard but it is something he must do. The sun is shining brightly in the morning sky when he starts his journey.

****

****_I'm awake but my world is half asleep_  
  


As he walks he thinks back. He thinks back on that day. The day that she left this world behind he thinks of.   Its events play over and over in his mind.  He takes a deep breath, he must carry on.

 

His eyes are wide open as he travels through the woods. The sky growing dim with every step he takes. The closer he gets to the water the more the shadows swallow the world whole. Everything around him seems so peaceful in their own right.

 

The birds, the wind, the sky, and the animals go on without a care in the world. They are blinded by what is the true reality. They do not yet see the cruelties of the world that they live in. He has seen it first hand. He fought it each day. In his heart and on the land he fought the battle. He had seen it kill his love. It killed her before he got the chance to say the three words. The three words that could have changed everything if he so voiced them. They could have saved her.

****

****_I pray for this heart to be unbroken_  
  


The trees hide the moon's rays from shining down on the forest. He has finally returned to where she lays. It has been so long. So much has changed.

 

Do the others even remember him? Do they even care? He doesn't care right now. He needs to do this. He needs to do this alone. He tries to hold back the tears. It is too painful for him. The sword still lies in the sand. It lies right where he left it untouched for two years, yet tainted by time. No one has been here in years.

 

How he prays to mend his broken heart. He walks to the water's edge. The flower he left so long again is still there. She did love flowers. She had her own little garden in the church. She even sold them by the street's side. They were a rarity in Midgar. He walks over to the edge and pulls a white flower from his pocket. It is much like the one he did that day he lost her.

****

**_But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete_  
** Incomplete  
  


A clear drop of water slowly cascades down his cheek. It travels down till it lands on the single white rose. He smiles sadly but with a little hint of happiness. The rose floats through the air with elegant grace. It lands in the blue water below. He has finally done it. He has returned. The void in his heart still remains. He can never be whole. But he can move on. There are others out there that need him.

 

He has a new mission ahead of him. He needs to rejoin the others. And fight side by side like old times. Only one will be gone but she is still there. She is in all of their hearts and the soil they walk on. She has become one with the Life Stream… the Promise Land of the Ancient ones.

 

The holes in his heart are not so big now. But he is still incomplete. The sun begins to rise in the distance. It is time he took a stand. It is time he fought this new evil. He turns and starts to walk into the rising sun.

 

He turns back for a moment and whispers one last thing. "I love you, Aerith" is the last thing he says before he takes his leave. He promises he will return again.  He will return with each passing season.


End file.
